Lately, I have been thinking if I am ready to be a mom, or ready to do the full responsibility about being a mother. I know the fact that if it will come then I can never turn my head back, and now here it is…. fast approaching.
My husband and I talked about having baby three months before year 2011 ended. We talked and decided that we are probably ready to have our own child before end of year 2012. He told me to study hard with Czech language so I will not have any problem if baby will be born. I can teach him/her, bring to doctor without hesitation that I might be misunderstood by some doctors who don’t speak English, bring him/her anywhere I want, buy him/her what is needed, and most especially I can take care of them whenever my husband is not around, in case of emergency.
I got his point! I knew the fact that we only have this hindrance about language; reason why I can’t do much things alone. Since I am aware of this issue, I started to push myself to be a little more responsible about myself. I looked forward to what is about to happen if we got baby and I don’t even know how to talk using his language. I mean, how I will bring my child to doctors in case of emergency with the absence of father. I knew, it would be so difficult to move and do things without learning their local language; reason why I asked myself multiple times if I am really ready to be a mother of our future children.
I have been focusing into learning Czech language these days that is why I am not updating my page. I am glad that I am moving forward into learning and I am improving a lot better. I have plenty of time to learn the language, and I knew even if I will be pregnant before of this year-end, I would still have time into learning, to make sure that once the baby pop-up, I am ready and aware enough to teach my baby about many things.
Language is just one of those things which kept crossing in my mind. Being a mother, I always need to be aware of waking up early in the morning, in order to give my child what he/she needs.
Am I ready to wake up multiple times early in the morning to give my child the attention he/she might need? Am I ready to smell the scent of his/her diaper? Am I ready to be more patient? Am I ready to have less hour of sleep? Am I ready to prepare nutritious food so they will be healthy? Am I ready to bake some cookies for them? Am I ready to divide myself into pieces in order to perform duties and responsibilities for kids and my loving husband? Am I ready to hear the sounds of crying baby in the middle of the night? Am I ready to have less bathe time for myself if I would have a child? Am I ready to not travel for a little bit longer because we will have a child? Am I ready to still do my duties being a wife? Would I have enough time for my husband, or child would take it away from him?
Those are just questions that often visited me before sleeping. Some questions have right answers which I provided by myself, but most questions can be answer when the baby exist at the right time.
I do love my husband and I never had any doubt about that. He mentioned to me few times that he also started to want a little kid running around the house. He wanted a little kid to hear laugh and cry from time to time. He wanted to have what we can call our own. He wanted to have a baby, but sometimes he is also wasn’t sure, because he is thinking that as soon as we have baby I wouldn’t have much time for him. L I knew I can’t stop him being like that, so I am using much more time to make him feel happy. I am spending time with him in any possible way.
There are times when we were talking about baby at night, he always says “I am ready to be father by that time; that is something which I am sure about, but for now, I always just wanted to spend so much time with you while we still haven’t have baby. I wanted to enjoy every single time we have before the baby.” J
I always considered his opinion and feelings about our decision-making. In this case, his feeling is a must. His feeling is the most important for me. I do respect it with all my heart. If he says, he will be ready before the year-end, and then I will stick into that!
Anytime soon, I can proudly say “I am ready to be a Mom”; as soon as my husband is ready as well. :)